JULY 20, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discovering the Hidden City of Ocomtún. Impact: The discovery of Ocomtún will likely lead to a resurgence of hipster archaeologists, who will start wearing fedoras and sipping artisanal coffee while debating the merits of ancient pyramid designs versus modern architecture. It's the new 'City of the Future'—just with fewer Wi-Fi hotspots.. Fact: Did you know that hidden cities are the archaeologists' version of 'I swear, I've seen that person before'? Only they actually have proof!.
• Headline: China's Coal Dependence Amid Heat Waves. Impact: China's coal addiction deepens like a soap opera plot twist, where each episode reveals a new layer of irony—vowing to go green while building more coal plants. It's almost like they’re trying to win an award for best dramatic irony in energy policy.. Fact: Did you know that in 2021, China was still the world’s largest consumer of coal? At this rate, they might as well start handing out 'Coal Enthusiast' badges!.
• Headline: How TV Writing Became a Dead-End Job. Impact: The transformation of TV writing into a dead-end job may inspire a new genre of reality TV: 'The Last Writer.' Contestants will compete to see who can hold onto their creativity the longest while being ignored by studios. Spoiler alert: everyone loses.. Fact: Did you know that in the golden age of TV, writers were actually treated like royalty? Now they’re just hoping for a short-lived sitcom to save them from the unemployment line..
• Headline: House Overwhelmingly Passes Bill to Improve Air Travel. Impact: The overwhelming passage of the air travel bill may eventually lead to a time when passengers are treated like royal guests with complimentary foot massages and gourmet meals. Or, you know, they'll just keep charging for snacks and legroom.. Fact: Did you know that air travel improvements are often less about the passengers and more about finding new ways to sell you overpriced water? Cheers to progress!.