APRIL 5, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: Surprise Allegations in Trump Case. Impact: If Trump hadn't been accused of falsifying records, perhaps he would have turned into a mild-mannered accountant instead of a political lightning rod. Who knows? Maybe the world would be a quieter place—unless you count the sound of a thousand conspiracy theories being born. Fact: Did you know that lying to tax authorities is sometimes referred to as 'creative accounting'? Fun fact: creativity has never really been a strong suit for Trump.
• Headline: Broadway's Corny Musical 'Shucked'. Impact: The success of 'Shucked' could lead to a resurgence of corn-based musicals, resulting in a nationwide obsession with maize. Who knows? We might see a new trend of corn-themed fashion and literal corn mazes popping up everywhere. Fact: Did you know that corn is technically a grass? So if you ever hear someone say 'Let’s go see Shucked!', just remember they might actually be talking about a field trip to a farm.
• Headline: For Lower-Income Students, Big Tech Internships Can Be Hard to Get. Impact: If lower-income students had easier access to tech internships, we might be living in a world dominated by innovative ideas from diverse backgrounds instead of, you know, another bland app for ordering pizza. Fact: Did you know that the first college was founded in 1088? Apparently, elitism has been a thing for a while!.
• Headline: For Once, Donald Trump Did Not Enjoy the Show. Impact: Trump's discomfort could lead to more instances of him being forced to engage in public events, which might finally result in him discovering that people can actually react negatively to his antics. Imagine that!. Fact: Did you know that public speaking is one of the most common fears? Looks like Trump just got a crash course in it—whether he wanted it or not!.