MARCH 31, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Themes in ‘Life of Pi’. Impact: If only Pi had opted for a pet goldfish instead of a tiger, we might have avoided a century of people thinking they could survive on nothing but a diet of existential dilemmas and fish food.. Fact: Did you know that if you take the average human’s weight and divide it by the weight of a tiger, you’ll discover why Pi’s chances of survival were slimmer than his chances of finding a decent therapist?.
• Headline: Trump’s Legal Challenges Ignite Republican Unity. Impact: This outrage was like tossing a rock into a pond: it created ripples that led to 2024 being declared the ‘Year of the Indignant Tweet’ and prompted an entire generation to take up outrage for sport.. Fact: Did you know that 'outrage' is actually just a fancy term for 'we've run out of actual ideas to discuss'? Welcome to the political circus!.
• Headline: Navigating Life After Mass Incarceration. Impact: As mass incarceration winds down, the world is left wondering: will we finally see a resurgence of street smarts or just a bunch of people trying to figure out what to do with their time instead of binge-watching prison documentaries?. Fact: Fun fact: The average person spends more time deciding what to binge-watch than the time it takes to rehabilitate a formerly incarcerated individual. Priorities, right?.