MARCH 20, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reviving Fosse’s Iconic Dance Masterpiece. Impact: If Fosse hadn’t wigged out with his dance moves, we might still be stuck watching the Macarena at weddings instead of the sophisticated art of interpretive dance. Thank you, Bob, for saving our feet from awkwardness!. Fact: Did you know Bob Fosse once won an Oscar for directing? Just goes to show, you can wiggle your way into any award show if you try hard enough!.
• Headline: Coach Abuse Reveal: A Survivor's Story. Impact: Naming a legend can often lead to a cascade of accusations and revelations, which ultimately changes the landscape of sports coaching forever—imagine, a world where coaches are actually held accountable. Shocking!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'legend' originally referred to someone who was famous for their legendary stories, not their legendary misdeeds? Oh, how times have changed!.
• Headline: Iraq War: Lessons from Two Decades. Impact: The lessons of Iraq are like that friend who never learns from their mistakes—always repeating the same cycle. If only they had a history book instead of a playbook, we might have avoided 20 years of chaos.. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. military spent over $1 trillion in Iraq? That's more than the GDP of some small countries. Guess they really wanted to make a big impression!.
• Headline: The Chaotic, Dispiriting Work of Liquidating Harmon Stores. Impact: The closure of Harmon Stores could very well lead to a national shortage of shampoo and overpriced candles, wreaking havoc on bathroom shelves across the country. Prepare for a beauty crisis!. Fact: Did you know Bed Bath & Beyond has been a favorite for wedding registry items? Now couples will have to settle for less exciting places like 'The Last Remaining Store.'.
• Headline: Fed Meets as Bank Chaos Collides With Inflation. Impact: The Fed's decisions during 'bank chaos' could send ripples through the economy, leading to an inflationary dance-off that will leave us all wondering how we ended up here—again. It’s like a bad sequel to a movie no one wanted!. Fact: Did you know that the Federal Reserve was created in 1913 to provide the country with a safer, more flexible monetary system? So far, it seems like they are just flexing their muscles, not their brains..