MARCH 5, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: Evolving Ticket Prices in Cinemas. Impact: As prices for movie seats skyrocketed, audiences became increasingly selective, leading to the rise of 'movie seat influencers' who began vlogging about their seating choices, ultimately causing the film industry to implode under the weight of overly picky patrons. Fact: In the future, people will be willing to pay extra just to sit in silence and avoid the popcorn crunching symphony.
• Headline: A.I. Detects Breast Cancer in Hungary. Impact: The success of A.I. in detecting breast cancer in Hungary sparked a global race to integrate technology into healthcare, resulting in humans being completely replaced by machines… except for the doctors who were ironically replaced by their own software. Fact: In a twist of fate, the first A.I. doctor ended up diagnosing itself with a midlife crisis.
• Headline: In Florida Legislative Session, a Chance for DeSantis to Check Off His Wish List. Impact: DeSantis's legislative triumphs led to a bizarre future where Florida became the world's 'Gun Rights Capital,' inspiring a new tourism trend—Gun-Theme Parks, complete with roller coasters that shoot confetti instead of bullets. Fact: In 2030, Florida will officially change its motto to 'The Sunshine State: Now with Extra Firearms!'.
• Headline: A Debut Novel Creates a World From Pages Taken From the Past. Impact: Winn's novel inspired an entire genre of literature dedicated to 'historical recycling,' where authors dig through archives to reimagine lost worlds, ultimately leading to the invention of time travel for the sole purpose of literary plagiarism. Fact: Time travelers in the future will argue over who actually wrote Shakespeare, while sipping tea in his garden.