DECEMBER 22, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eisenhower's Historic Visit to Spain. Impact: Eisenhower's Madrid visit inspired a global movement for peace, leading to the invention of the Peace Emoji—a universal symbol of tranquility that, ironically, is now used in passive-aggressive texts.. Fact: Did you know that Eisenhower once suggested that the best way to achieve peace was to arm everyone with a sense of humor? Too bad he didn't have Twitter..
• Headline: Life and Legacy of Gustav H. Ankerson. Impact: Gustav H. Ankerson's name went down in history as the catalyst for a series of unfortunate events, including a sitcom based on his life that failed miserably and never aired.. Fact: Did you know that Ankerson was so influential, he once changed the spelling of his last name just to confuse historians? It worked!.
• Headline: FTC Warns Against Deceptive Advertising Practices. Impact: The FTC's proposal to swing a 'big stick' led to the unintended creation of a new sport: 'Deceptive Ad Dodgeball,' where businesses dodge regulations instead of balls.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'big stick' originated from Teddy Roosevelt? Apparently, he didn’t specify it would also apply to ad regulations!.
• Headline: 2 CAMP BUILDINGS ARE GOING TO POLE; Self-Propelled Vehicles Have Range of 1,700 Miles for Exploration in Antarctica. Impact: These self-propelled vehicles paved the way for a future where polar exploration became a trendy vacation spot, inspiring a line of cold-weather gear that nobody wanted to buy.. Fact: Did you know that these vehicles were originally designed to escape from awkward family reunions? Talk about a niche market!.
• Headline: NEW RACKET LAW URGED; Hudson County Grand Jury Asks Stronger State Curb. Impact: The push for stronger racketeering laws inadvertently led to an increase in organized crime's creativity, resulting in a rise of artisanal rackets that were more about style than crime.. Fact: Did you know that racketeering was once a popular hobby among bored housewives? Now it's just a crime!.
• Headline: LABOR LAW CALLED UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Impact: The call for the labor law to be deemed unconstitutional sparked a decade-long legal debate that ultimately resulted in the creation of a new branch of law, 'Labor Ranting,' where everyone just complains.. Fact: Did you know that the lithographers were so passionate they once staged a sit-in—at a printing press? Talk about a literal interpretation of 'work stoppage!'.
• Headline: CUBA TAKES ROLE IN MINERAL SALES; New Agency to Purchase All of Oriente Province's Ore -- U. S. Holdings Affected. Impact: Cuba's mineral sales agency inadvertently led to a worldwide shortage of shiny rocks, prompting people to value glitter more than gold for a brief, confusing time in the 70s.. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. actually thought about trading glitter for minerals? Imagine the chaos at the negotiation table!.
• Headline: St. Luke's Hospital Elects President. Impact: The election of J. Cromwell as president of St. Luke's Hospital resulted in a series of increasingly bizarre hospital policies, including mandatory pajama days for patients.. Fact: Did you know that Cromwell's first order of business was to replace all hospital gowns with stylish capes? Superheroes were born!.
• Headline: BROOKLYN COLLEGE APPOINTS 2 DEANS. Impact: The appointment of deans at Brooklyn College sparked an academic arms race, leading to an influx of bizarre degree programs, including a major in 'Napping Science.'. Fact: Did you know that Dr. Goodhartz once tried to teach a class on the history of procrastination? It was a real snooze-fest!.
• Headline: 18,000 AT FESTIVAL MARK HANUKKAH; Israel Bond Fete at Garden Draws Overflow Crowd -Silver Lights Candles. Impact: The annual Chanukah Festival led to the yearly tradition of gifting socks and candles, which has since been documented as the worst combination of gifts in history.. Fact: Did you know that the festival was originally intended to celebrate oil, but somehow turned into a candle-lighting competition? The irony is palpable!.