MAY 8, 2024

Full News Archive

• Headline: FTX Customers to Recover Funds in Bankruptcy. Impact: When FTX customers got their money back, it set off a wave of optimism that led to the Great Cryptocurrency Boom of 2025. Investors everywhere thought they were geniuses, only to find out they weren't. Thanks, FTX!. Fact: Did you know that some people still think cryptocurrencies are the future? Just wait until their favorite meme coin crashes again!.
• Headline: Close Friends Compete for Olympic Marathon Spots. Impact: The intense rivalry between Mantz and Young inspired a new reality TV show, 'Marathon Madness,' where friends compete for Olympic spots while sabotaging each other. Spoiler: nobody wins.. Fact: Did you know that running 10,000 miles is basically the equivalent of a bad relationship? Both require endurance, but one usually ends with less sweat and more ice cream..
• Headline: Haitian Crisis: Displacement and Resilience. Impact: The humanitarian crisis in Haiti created an unexpected surge of international awareness, sparking a decade-long debate over how many social media posts are appropriate to raise awareness without actually helping. #ThinkingOfYouHaiti.. Fact: Did you know that empty lots and crowded schools are the new hot spots in urban planning? Who needs homes when you can have hipster-style communal living?.
• Headline: Amy Poehler Wants Her True-Crime Podcast to Make You Laugh. Impact: Poehler's true-crime podcast became so popular that it inadvertently led to an increase in true-crime-themed brunches, where avocado toast is served with a side of murder mystery.. Fact: Did you know that true-crime podcasts have become the modern equivalent of bedtime stories? Just with more blood and less fairy dust..
• Headline: Up, Up and Not OK: Letting Go of Balloons Could Soon Be Illegal in Florida. Impact: The balloon ban in Florida sparked a nationwide movement that ultimately led to the invention of biodegradable balloons made from kale. Yes, kale. Because why not ruin childhoods one vegetable at a time?. Fact: Did you know that releasing balloons can be harmful to wildlife? But hey, at least they won't be choking on kale, right?.