MARCH 17, 2024

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bruderhof Balances Tradition and Modern Life. Impact: The Bruderhof's reluctance to fully embrace modernity set off a chain reaction that eventually led to a global shortage of artisanal beer, causing hipsters everywhere to panic—who knew craft beer was a lifeline for social interaction?. Fact: Did you know that the Bruderhof community is famous for its dedication to pacifism? So, if they ever did decide to take up arms, it would probably be with organic kale..
• Headline: Animals Arriving at J.F.K. Airport. Impact: The arrival of Icelandic horses and West Bank dogs at JFK started a trend where pets and equines began demanding first-class tickets. Soon, animals were more pampered than most humans.. Fact: Did you know the ARK is also a play on the biblical Noah's Ark? So, if these animals start building a boat, we might need to reconsider our travel plans..
• Headline: Piety and Profanity: The Raunchy Christians Are Here. Impact: The raunchy shift among evangelicals paved the way for a new 'Holy Roller' lifestyle brand, complete with risqué prayer classes and sin-themed retreats. Who knew faith could be so scandalous?. Fact: Did you know that the Bible contains over a thousand references to sex? So really, the raunchy Christians are just taking their cues straight from the Good Book!.