NOVEMBER 18, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: College Board's Push for AP Expansion. Impact: As the College Board expanded Advanced Placement, students developed an unprecedented knack for cramming information, leading to the eventual creation of a reality show where contestants had to memorize the entire AP curriculum in 24 hours. Spoiler: it was canceled due to lack of interest.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more stressful than AP tests is watching your bank account dwindle while you study..
• Headline: Sex Workers Have Been Shunned by Banks, Even When Their Work Is Legal. Impact: The shunning of sex workers by banks prompted a secret society of financial advisers that exclusively catered to the adult industry. This led to the first-ever financial empowerment seminar titled 'How to Invest Your Earnings While Wearing Heels'.. Fact: It's interesting how banks are okay with funding billion-dollar corporations but get squeamish over a legal profession. Double standards much?.
• Headline: Colombia to Sterilize Pablo Escobar’s ‘Cocaine Hippos’. Impact: The sterilization of Pablo Escobar's hippos would eventually lead to a hippo rights movement that spread worldwide, resulting in hippos becoming the new face of environmental activism. They now hold rallies and demand better water quality—ironically, in Dubai.. Fact: Fun fact: Hippos are more dangerous than sharks! So, when taking a dip in the water, remember: it's not just the waves you need to worry about..