OCTOBER 5, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.A.W. Chief Fights for Workers' Rights. Impact: If Shawn Fain's demand to 'Eat the Rich' gains traction, we might see a culinary trend where gourmet chefs start hosting 'Billionaire Barbecues'. Imagine the Yelp reviews!. Fact: In 2023, the phrase 'Eat the Rich' was so overused that it nearly became the title of a cookbook—thankfully, it was scrapped due to lack of recipes..
• Headline: Alto's Innovative Driver Employment Model. Impact: Alto's alternative to Uber could spark a time-traveling revolution where all ride-sharing apps are forced to hire their own drivers, leading to a bizarre future where drivers form unions and demand benefits like vacation days and health insurance.. Fact: The average Uber driver spends more time waiting for a ride than actually driving, so they might as well be given a corner office!.
• Headline: Delcy Morelos: Nature and Healing in Art. Impact: Delcy Morelos bringing nature to the art world might lead to a future where art galleries are replaced with parks, and museum-goers are required to wear sunblock and insect repellent.. Fact: In 2023, a renowned art critic mistook a piece of grass for an installation and wrote a 10-page review praising its 'earthy tones and existential roots'..
• Headline: How a Chain-Snatching and a Vegas Beatdown Led to Tupac’s Murder. Impact: The chain-snatching and ensuing violence around Tupac's murder set off a chain reaction that not only changed hip-hop but also led to a series of unsolved mysteries regarding who really ate the last slice of pizza at the 1996 Grammys.. Fact: Tupac's influence was so profound that even his pet goldfish was rumored to have a rap career posthumously—though it was mostly just bubbles..
• Headline: A Giacometti for a Cezanne: Jeffrey Epstein’s Role in a Pricey Art Deal. Impact: Jeffrey Epstein's art dealings could eventually lead to a future where art is used as a currency, and we all start trading paintings for groceries. Who needs cash when you have a Van Gogh?. Fact: Leon Black once tried to pay for a coffee with a Picasso, but the barista insisted on cash. Some people just can't appreciate fine art!.