MAY 17, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cancer Drug Shortages Spark National Concern. Impact: As cancer drugs become scarce, a black market for vitamin-infused kale smoothies emerges, causing a health crisis where consumers mistake superfoods for actual medicine. The next generation believes they can cure everything with avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that instead of solving the drug shortage, Congress might just choose to hold another committee meeting where everyone gets to feel important for a few hours?.
• Headline: Gen Z's TikTok Influencer Revolution. Impact: This trend sets off a global competition where even cats start their own TikTok channels, leading to a decline in human social interaction as felines become the new pop stars. Catnip becomes the new currency.. Fact: Did you know that 'influencer' is just a fancy name for 'person who gets paid to be themselves'? I mean, who wouldn't want to be paid for doing nothing?.
• Headline: Prince Harry, Meghan, the Paparazzi and a Chaotic Night in Manhattan. Impact: This night of chaos leads to the formation of a new reality show called 'Chasing Royals,' where contestants must evade paparazzi while navigating daily life. Spoiler alert: no one wins.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'chaotic night' could also describe any normal Friday for the rest of us? Just minus the royal drama and the paparazzi, of course!.