MARCH 2, 2023

Full News Archive

• Headline: Supreme Court Challenges Biden's Authority. Impact: This case could lead to a future where presidents are afraid to do anything without a lawyer on speed dial, ultimately resulting in a nation governed by lawyers who communicate solely in legal jargon. 'We hereby decree that all executive orders are now void unless approved by a committee of three.'. Fact: Did you know that the last time a president tried to wield too much power, they ended up on a 'Most Wanted' poster? Just kidding, but the history of overreach hasn't been pretty..
• Headline: Oklahoma Wants to Be the ‘Next Texas.’ Imagine That.. Impact: If Oklahoma successfully rebrands itself, we could be looking at a future where every state starts competing for the title of 'Most Texan,' leading to annual competitions involving cowboy hats and barbecue cook-offs. 'Welcome to the Great American Showdown!'. Fact: Did you know that Oklahoma is so determined to be the next Texas that they’re even considering replacing their state bird with a longhorn? Just kidding, but they might as well..
• Headline: When Clothes Fly Off, This Intimacy Coordinator Steps In. Impact: The rise of intimacy coordinators could lead to a future where all film scripts come with a mandatory 'consent clause' and actors are required to sign a 'No Flying Clothes' waiver before filming. 'Yes, but only if you promise not to trip over the wardrobe!'. Fact: Did you know that before intimacy coordinators, film sets were basically chaos with a side of awkwardness? Imagine a romantic scene turning into a wrestling match over the duvet!.