DECEMBER 24, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Holiday Family Talks on 2024 Campaigns. Impact: The decision-making process over eggnog and board games set off a chain reaction where every future holiday gathering turned into an impromptu political rally. Who knew that a game of Monopoly could decide the fate of the Senate?. Fact: The last time politicians gathered over eggnog, someone accidentally declared war. Spoiler alert: it was just a heated round of charades..
• Headline: Concerts and First Credit Cards. Impact: The moment fans decided to sign up for credit cards in order to attend concerts, the financial industry rejoiced. This led to a future where concerts were exclusively funded by high-interest credit card debt, turning every show into a financial seminar.. Fact: In an alternate timeline, concert tickets are sold exclusively in barter, with attendees trading their old Pokémon cards instead of cash or credit..
• Headline: Betting Apps Can Make Anyone a Sports Fan. Even Me.. Impact: The rise of betting apps not only turned casual observers into die-hard fans but also led to a bizarre future where sports commentators began analyzing the odds of winning at bingo. The sports world was forever changed, with retirees becoming the new celebrity athletes.. Fact: In a parallel universe, betting apps have evolved into psychic predictions, leading to an entire industry of fortune tellers specializing in sports outcomes. 'Bet on blue!'.
• Headline: How the Worst Fears for Democracy Were Averted in 2022. Impact: By averting the worst fears for democracy, this small electorate's decision sparked a new movement of 'voter mindfulness.' Future generations would start meditating before elections, creating a calmer, if somewhat confused, electorate.. Fact: In a twist of fate, the 'voter mindfulness' movement led to a new breed of politicians who promised to meditate before every debate. Spoiler: it didn’t work out..