DECEMBER 11, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: E. Fuller Torrey's Mental Health Advocacy. Impact: Torrey's advocacy could lead to a future where mental health treatment is as common as getting a haircut—soon, everyone will be involuntarily signed up for therapy sessions, and you'll have to book your appointment weeks in advance!. Fact: Involuntary treatment policies have a history of being as welcome as a porcupine in a balloon factory. But hey, at least he’s advocating for something, right?.
• Headline: High School Students in Junior R.O.T.C.. Impact: This could be the start of a trend where high schools become military academies. Soon enough, we might see the first-ever 'Senior Year's Final Exam: Survive the Obstacle Course'. Fact: If you think the only thing teenagers are good at is scrolling through social media, wait until you see them try to navigate military discipline. It's like trying to herd cats, but with more uniforms!.
• Headline: The Prince, the Plot and a Long-Lost Reich. Impact: If Prince Heinrich XIII had succeeded, we might have seen a resurgence of the imperial crown, leading to an entire new genre of fashion: 'Imperial Chic'. Think crowns paired with denim jackets and combat boots!. Fact: Conspiracy theories are like potato chips; you can't have just one! Heinrich's obsession with nostalgia might have inspired a fashion revival of historical inaccuracies that would make historians weep.
• Headline: Judd Hirsch Can Tell You a Story or Three. ‘The Fabelmans’ Is Just the Latest.. Impact: If Hirsch's storytelling becomes a national pastime, we could see a future where everyone is required to share their life stories in a dramatic monologue format. Forget small talk; prepare for an hour-long performance about your last trip to the grocery store!. Fact: Judd Hirsch has been telling stories for decades, and his anecdotes are like vintage wine—aged to perfection and making you question why you don't have a glass of your own!.