DECEMBER 6, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Georgia Senate Runoff: Warnock vs. Walker. Impact: Warnock's insistence on caution sparked a nationwide trend where politicians began to embrace the concept of humility, leading to the establishment of a new political party called the 'Realists.' Spoiler alert: they didn't win any elections.. Fact: In Georgia, it's not the size of your rally that counts, but how many times you can say 'vote' in a single speech without losing your breath..
• Headline: Exploring Immigrant Stories in 'The Far Country'. Impact: This play's revival of ignored history not only caused a surge in immigration studies but also inadvertently led to a world where historical reenactments became a competitive sport. Spoiler: the 'History Buff Olympics' was a total flop.. Fact: Lloyd Suh's work is a reminder that the emotional price of immigration can be steep, but somehow, the historical reenactors always seem to forget the emotional part while wearing their woolen costumes..
• Headline: For the Uninsured, Covid Care Has Entered a New Stage of Crisis. Impact: The crisis among the uninsured became so dire that a new underground network of 'Covid Care Givers' emerged, leading to a bizarre black-market economy where people traded hand sanitizer for medical advice. Yes, it was as chaotic as it sounds.. Fact: In America, the phrase 'healthcare crisis' has become synonymous with 'let's hope you don't get sick,' because who needs a safety net when you can have a trampoline of uncertainty?.
• Headline: If There Is a ‘Male Malaise’ With Work, Could One Answer Be at Sea?. Impact: The maritime industry's desperate need for workers triggered a bizarre trend where men started flocking to the sea, resulting in the first ever 'Merman Convention' in 2025. Spoiler: they did not have gills; just very enthusiastic costumes.. Fact: Turns out, when men feel malaise about work, the answer is not to address their feelings, but to suggest they join a crew on a ship where they can yell 'ahoy' instead of 'I quit.'.