NOVEMBER 28, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Anticapitalism at Harvard Business School. Impact: If Harvard Business School starts teaching social justice, we might end up with a generation of CEOs who care about people. Imagine the chaos when they find out their profit margins don't include emotional well-being! Next thing you know, stock prices are crashing because everyone is too busy hugging it out in the boardroom.. Fact: Harvard Business School once taught that the most important thing in business is profit. Who knew that would change? Probably the same people who thought buying stocks was a foolproof plan!.
• Headline: Biden's Midterm Boost: Implications for 2024. Impact: Biden's midterm success might just be the butterfly flapping its wings that sends shockwaves through 2024. Who knows? Maybe it leads to a surprise sock puppet debate between candidates. Because honestly, who could do worse?. Fact: Political hand-wringing is an Olympic sport at this point. They should really consider adding it to the next games!.
• Headline: Anderson Cooper's Podcast on Grief and Loss. Impact: Anderson Cooper's podcast about grief could lead to a cultural movement where everyone starts sharing their deepest traumas—resulting in a world where therapy sessions become the new reality TV. Get ready for 'Keeping Up with the Emotional Kardashians!'. Fact: Did you know that podcasting is just radio for people who don’t want to wear pants? Welcome to the modern age!.
• Headline: Mo Brings Plenty Was About to Quit Acting. Then Came ‘Yellowstone.’. Impact: Mo Brings Plenty’s journey from wanting to quit acting to starring in 'Yellowstone' could spark a renaissance in Native representation, possibly leading to a future where Hollywood casts actual Native Americans instead of just white actors in face paint. Shocking, I know!. Fact: ‘Yellowstone’ is proof that sometimes all it takes to change an industry is one actor who refuses to settle for less. Or, you know, a global pandemic making everyone rethink their life choices..
• Headline: Crypto Lender BlockFi Files for Bankruptcy as FTX Fallout Spreads. Impact: BlockFi's bankruptcy due to FTX’s collapse could trigger a domino effect, leading to a world where people start using actual cash again. Imagine the horror of paper money making a comeback—next, they'll want to use pigeons for messaging too!. Fact: The only thing more unstable than cryptocurrency lately is my New Year’s resolution to eat healthier. Spoiler: It didn’t last long!.