SEPTEMBER 9, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: China's Show of Zero Covid Policy. Impact: The public show of Zero Covid policies not only reinforced Xi Jinping's grip on power but inspired a global trend where leaders everywhere began to think that controlling their citizens through fear might be a solid management strategy. Thanks, China! Now we're all stuck with 'stay-at-home orders' like it's some dystopian Netflix series.. Fact: Speaking of audiences, did you know the real reason for those lockdowns was because Xi wanted to ensure his Zoom calls were uninterrupted? Priorities, people!.
• Headline: The Art of Japanese Telegrams. Impact: The continued use of telegrams in Japan not only keeps the nostalgia alive but also indirectly boosts the paper industry. In a twist of fate, this could lead to an unexpected shortage of trees, resulting in a future where everyone has to send their feelings via emoji. Thanks, Japan!. Fact: Telegram sending is like the hipster of communication methods—only the truly cool send their messages through a medium that takes longer than a carrier pigeon..
• Headline: De Blasio's Honest Reflection on New York. Impact: Bill de Blasio's self-awareness about New York's exhaustion with him may have sparked a future trend of politicians actually listening to their constituents. Imagine that! The butterfly effect could lead to a world where politicians actually care. What a plot twist!. Fact: Did you know that de Blasio’s exit interview was conducted in a park? I guess even he wanted to ensure he left New York with some semblance of green space before heading to the concrete jungle of New England..
• Headline: Claw Clips Claw Their Way Back. Impact: The resurgence of claw clips may have inadvertently caused a time loop where the 90s fashion cycle continues indefinitely. Imagine a future where we all go back to wearing flannel shirts and platform shoes—a truly terrifying thought!. Fact: Claw clips are the perfect accessory for when you're trying to look stylish but also want to avoid commitments. Just like my social life!.
• Headline: In London, Mourning, Remembrance and Tributes. And Some Shrugs.. Impact: The muted response from young Britons to mourning rituals indicates a potential shift towards a more modern approach to grief, possibly leading to future ceremonies where TikTok dances replace traditional tributes. Talk about evolution!. Fact: Did you know that in Britain, a 'shrug' can be considered an acceptable form of expression? It's like saying, 'I care, but not enough to show it.'.