SEPTEMBER 8, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Justice Department's Dilemma on Trump Ruling. Impact: If the Justice Department had just flipped a coin to decide whether to appeal, we might have ended up with an alternate timeline where Trump becomes a motivational speaker instead of a political figure. 'How to Win Friends and Influence Courts' would probably be a bestseller.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'special master' sounds like a title from a bad fantasy novel? 'The Special Master of the Realm of Executive Power' could have been a hit on Netflix!.
• Headline: Impacts of a Hard-Right G.O.P. Majority. Impact: A narrow, hard-right G.O.P. House Majority could lead to a reality where every congressional debate is replaced by a game of 'hot potato' – and the potato is actually a ticking time bomb of fiscal irresponsibility.. Fact: Did you know that McCarthy's headaches could actually be classified as a medical condition? 'Political Stress Syndrome' is not yet in the DSM, but it should be..
• Headline: Economic Turmoil Challenges Europe's Future. Impact: The threat to Europe's economy could lead to a bizarre alternate future where people barter with artisanal bread and craft beer instead of using currency. Imagine the hipster economy!. Fact: Did you know that the last time Europe faced a crisis of this magnitude, they invented the Euro? Talk about a 'let's try something new' moment that didn't go quite as planned..
• Headline: The Days of Energy Deregulation Are Over in Europe. Impact: Reversing energy deregulation might just spark a revolution where all Europeans start knitting their own sweaters to stay warm instead of relying on gas and electricity. DIY is the new black!. Fact: Did you know that energy deregulation was once considered a 'brilliant idea'? It’s like thinking you can save money by not buying insurance – and then getting hit by a bus..
• Headline: A Smartphone That Lasts a Decade? Yes, It’s Possible.. Impact: A smartphone that lasts a decade could lead to a future where tech companies have to actually innovate instead of just slapping an extra camera on the same old model. Shocking, I know!. Fact: Did you know that in a world where smartphones last ten years, tech enthusiasts would have to find new hobbies? Like collecting dust bunnies or competitive napping..