AUGUST 27, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Document Recovery Efforts Under Scrutiny. Impact: Had Trump just taken a few more selfies with classified documents, we might've found ourselves in an alternate universe where everyone has a Trump-themed therapist. Instead, we just get endless headlines and conspiracy theories about how the documents could've been the key to world peace.. Fact: The last time a president was accused of obstruction, it led to impeachment. But hey, at least he didn’t misplace the nuclear codes... right?.
• Headline: Controversy Surrounds Florida's Education Policy Changes. Impact: With every 'indoctrinated' student, we inch closer to a future where kids are taught to question everything... except the government. What a delightful paradox! Welcome to the world of adulting!. Fact: Florida's education policy is like a reality show: full of drama, questionable choices, and a lot of people wondering how they got here..
• Headline: Does Watching College Football on TV Have to Be So Miserable?. Impact: As college football fans continue to suffer through awful broadcasts, it's only a matter of time before they revolt and demand a 'Happiness Index' for viewing experiences. Good luck with that, networks!. Fact: College football fans have mastered the art of complaining about the game while simultaneously watching it religiously. It’s practically a sport on its own..
• Headline: This Teen Was Prescribed 10 Psychiatric Drugs. She’s Not Alone.. Impact: As more teens are prescribed psychiatric drugs, we could eventually see a future where group therapy sessions become the new social media trend. Forget selfies; it's all about sharing your latest cocktail of meds!. Fact: The only thing scarier than a teenager on 10 different psychiatric drugs is a teenager on 10 different social media platforms..