JULY 13, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Congress Control and Class Divide Insights. Impact: This tight race for Congress led to a series of increasingly absurd campaign ads, where candidates resorted to performing interpretive dance to convey their policies. Who knew that a waltz could swing voters?. Fact: Did you know that in the 1800s, candidates would literally duel over disagreements? Because nothing says 'I care about your vote' like a good ol' fashioned sword fight..
• Headline: City Workers' Exodus: Causes and Impact. Impact: The mass exodus of city workers triggered a nationwide phenomenon where people started worshipping their home offices as sacred spaces. This eventually led to the invention of the 'Home Office Prayer Corner'—a place where you can meditate on your Wi-Fi connectivity.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time city workers quit in droves, they formed a band called 'The Quitters' and had a hit single titled 'We’re Outta Here!'.
• Headline: AI Tools vs. Accessibility for Blind Users. Impact: As companies scrambled to create A.I. tools for accessibility, they inadvertently sparked the rise of a new underground movement of 'Web Wizards' who specialized in coding simple, user-friendly websites, thus becoming the unlikely heroes of the digital age.. Fact: Did you know that before A.I. existed, websites were designed by actual humans? Shocking, I know. Apparently, they had a thing called 'common sense'—a rare commodity nowadays..
• Headline: In a Post-Roe World, the Future of Digital Privacy Looks Even Grimmer. Impact: The heightened surveillance post-Roe led to an unforeseen boom in privacy-concealing fashion, with women donning elaborate hats and cloaks to evade prying eyes, leading to the revival of Victorian-era fashion trends at the most awkward of times.. Fact: Did you know that in the 1700s, women were so concerned about privacy that they invented the ‘pocket’—not for carrying money, but for hiding secrets? Talk about ahead of their time!.
• Headline: Elite Colleges’ Quiet Fight to Favor Alumni Children. Impact: The fight to favor alumni children in elite colleges resulted in a resurgence of 'legacy' memes online, where students created elaborate family trees that included their great-great-grandparents' pets just to secure a spot. Because who needs merit when you have a lineage?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'legacy' originally referred to a will left by a deceased relative? Now it just means, 'Congratulations, your family was rich enough to bribe their way into college!'.