JUNE 23, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Republicans Reassess Jan. 6 Committee Boycott. Impact: If only they had attended the panel, they might have learned that ignoring problems doesn't make them disappear—like a magician who forgot how to do the trick.. Fact: Did you know that boycotting things is the new trend? Next up: boycotting reality!.
• Headline: Exploring Hearts in Corsicana, Texas. Impact: This play's exploration of failing upward could inspire a new wave of motivational speakers—'Embrace your failures, they might just lead you to the top!'. Fact: In Texas, even hearts can get lost—right alongside the GPS signals..
• Headline: Russia Cuts Gas Supply Amid Winter Preparations. Impact: This event might just inspire a new competitive sport: Extreme Winter Stockpiling. Who knew heating could turn into a strategic game of Monopoly?. Fact: Did you know that 'gaslighting' can also refer to your heating bills? It’s a real gas!.
• Headline: Jan. 6 Panel Outlines Trump’s Bid to Coerce Justice Dept. Officials. Impact: This event may have accidentally set a new standard for how to not run a government: first, apply pressure, then watch the chaos unfold like a poorly scripted reality show.. Fact: Fun fact: Trying to coerce the Justice Department is a bit like trying to convince a cat to take a bath—good luck with that!.
• Headline: As Midterms Loom, Elections Are No Longer Top Priority for Meta C.E.O.. Impact: This shift in priority may lead to a future where elections are decided by who has the coolest virtual avatar—a dystopian dream come true!. Fact: Did you know that the metaverse can't vote? But it might just have a more interesting opinion than most political ads!.