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HEADLINES ON June 17, 2022
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- Headline: Dog Breeds and Homeowners’ Insurance Controversy. Impact: If only homeowners had taken their dog's breed into account before purchasing insurance, maybe we'd have a world where pit bulls were the new therapy dogs. Imagine a future where insurance agents give doggie treats instead of quotes!. Fact: Did you know that insurance companies also consider cats to be 'high-risk'? Just kidding, they only care about the money..
- Headline: Louis Theroux's Unexpected TikTok Fame. Impact: Louis Theroux's TikTok fame will inspire a new wave of middle-aged journalists to start rapping. By 2030, we might see the first-ever 'Old School Rap Battle' featuring correspondents from the BBC.. Fact: Did you know that TikTok is basically what happens when a time machine meets a high school talent show? Welcome to the future!.
- Headline: Gun Control Advocates Have More Money Now, but Money Can’t Buy Zeal. Impact: As funding for gun control ramps up, we may witness the birth of 'Gun Control Celebrity Endorsements.' Picture A-list actors doing PSAs while juggling guns—what could possibly go wrong?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'money can't buy happiness' is often said by people with money? But hey, at least they can buy a lot of other things!.
- Headline: She Won a Tony. But Deirdre O’Connell ‘Can’t Think About That.’. Impact: Deirdre O'Connell’s Tony win will spark a new trend where actors refuse to acknowledge their accolades, leading to the establishment of an award show solely for those who don't care about awards. It will be a smashing success, obviously.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'can't think about that' is often used by people deep in Netflix binges? It's a universal struggle!.