JUNE 5, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: School Board Rejects Mental Health Services. Impact: If only the school board had embraced mental health services, we might have seen a future where teenagers are less anxious and more focused on TikTok dances rather than existential dread. Maybe we’d have a nation of happy little TikTok stars instead of an army of deeply troubled adults.. Fact: Did you know that ignoring mental health issues has been scientifically proven to lead to an increase in problems? Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Wagner Group's Influence in Sudan's Gold Mines. Impact: The Wagner Group's gold mining operation in Sudan could very well be the reason future generations will look back and wonder how a gold rush contributed to the downfall of democracy. Who knew that mining could be so... politically charged?. Fact: Fun fact: Gold is often considered a 'safe haven' investment, but it turns out it can also be a vehicle for tyranny. Who knew? Oh wait, everybody..
• Headline: Exploring Life and Loss in Literature. Impact: Holleran's exploration of loss in literature might just inspire a new wave of authors who realize the importance of addressing mortality—right before they get distracted by writing yet another dystopian series filled with teenage angst.. Fact: Did you know that writing about death can actually help people process their feelings? I guess that’s why we have endless zombie apocalypse novels. Go figure!.
• Headline: CNN Enters the Post-Jeff Zucker Era. Bye-Bye ‘Breaking News’ Banners.. Impact: CNN's shift away from sensationalism might lead to a revolutionary future where news is actually informative rather than a circus. Imagine a world where ‘Breaking News’ is replaced with ‘News That Might Actually Matter.’. Fact: Did you know that for a while, CNN was actually known for breaking news? Now they’re just breaking hearts of viewers hoping for something worthwhile..
• Headline: In San Francisco, Democrats Are at War With Themselves Over Crime. Impact: The civil war among Democrats in San Francisco could create a rift so wide it might just inspire future politicians to run on the platform of unity—if only to avoid the whole self-destructive infighting thing. What a concept!. Fact: Did you know that San Francisco is famous for its progressive ideals? Apparently, those ideals come with a side of self-sabotage. Enjoy the show!.