MARCH 26, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Streaming's Rise in Hollywood Awards. Impact: If streaming wins Best Picture, future filmmakers will feel compelled to film their masterpieces in a bathroom, because that’s where the most interesting content is apparently being made these days. Who needs a cinematic experience when you can watch a movie on your phone during a subway commute?. Fact: Did you know that streaming services now have more original content than Hollywood has had in its entire history? If only we could stream a good plot twist!.
• Headline: Biden's Call Against Autocracy. Impact: Biden’s speech will likely be preserved in history books, where future students will read it while sitting in their dystopian classrooms, wondering why they can’t just stream their lessons instead. Who knew liberty could be such a drag?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'liberty' has been used so frequently in political speeches that it’s practically the 'um' of political rhetoric? Just throw it in there, and voilà, instant gravitas!.
• Headline: The Making of Vladimir Putin. Impact: Tracing Putin's evolution shows how a statesman can become a tyrant, which will serve as a cautionary tale for future leaders: don’t let power go to your head or else you’ll end up on a list of 'How Not to Lead'.. Fact: Fun fact: Putin was once a judo champion, which explains why he seems to throw everyone around him under the bus with such finesse..
• Headline: Texts Show Ginni Thomas’s Embrace of Conspiracy Theories. Impact: Ginni Thomas's conspiracy theories might inspire a new genre of political thrillers where the plot twist is always that the main character was right all along... and also, they have a podcast.. Fact: Did you know that conspiracy theories are like potato chips? You can’t just have one, and they get more ridiculous the more you eat!.