MARCH 17, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring 'Raised by Wolves' Phenomenon. Impact: If only the characters in 'Raised by Wolves' had taken a different path, we might be living in a world where wolves are the primary caregivers for humanity. Imagine the howling debates in Congress!. Fact: Did you know that 'Raised by Wolves' was almost titled 'Raised by Really Confused Parents'? True story!.
• Headline: Aid Workers Executed on Ethiopian Battlefield. Impact: The tragic fate of these aid workers sparked a global conversation about the safety of humanitarian efforts, leading to stricter safety protocols. Ironically, it made some politicians more interested in photo ops than actual aid.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Doctors Without Borders' could easily be replaced with 'Doctors Who Probably Should Have Stayed Home' in some circles, given how dangerous it can be out there?.
• Headline: Inflation and Recession: The Fed's Dilemma. Impact: The Fed's balancing act on inflation vs. recession could lead to a new Olympic sport: Tightrope Walking Economists. Future generations will marvel at our inability to make simple decisions.. Fact: Fun fact: the last time the Fed walked a tightrope, they lost their balance and fell into a pit of inflationary despair. Oops!.
• Headline: Republicans Push Crackdown on Crime Wave That Doesn’t Exist: Voter Fraud. Impact: The Republican crackdown on a fictional crime wave could turn into a bizarre reality show: 'America's Next Top Voter Fraud Investigator.' Spoiler alert: no one's getting eliminated.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing rarer than voter fraud is a unicorn in a business suit? And yet, here we are!.
• Headline: Rosalía Reserves the Right to Transform. Impact: Rosalía's right to transform has opened the floodgates for future pop stars to reinvent themselves. Expect a wave of artists claiming they were actually born as new genres - 'I was a country singer in my past life!'. Fact: Did you know that before becoming a pop sensation, Rosalía briefly considered a career as a professional shape-shifter? Turns out, that wasn't as marketable..