FEBRUARY 9, 2022

Full News Archive

• Headline: Local Papers Embrace Digital Subscription Growth. Impact: As local papers find hope in online subscriptions, they inadvertently set the stage for a future where people are more emotionally invested in their news than their relationships. Who needs friends when you have a well-written article?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'fake news' was actually coined by a disgruntled local newspaper editor in a fit of jealousy? True story!.
• Headline: Where’s Liz Cheney? The Wyoming Republican’s Exile From Wyoming Republicans. Impact: Liz Cheney's exile from Wyoming Republicans will be studied in future political science classes as the quintessential example of how to lose friends and alienate people—all while maintaining a solid moral compass.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'political exile' now comes with an asterisk noting its use as a vacation destination for those who can't stand their party's shenanigans?.
• Headline: The Real Reason America Doesn’t Have Enough Truck Drivers. Impact: The truck driver shortage will lead to a future where drones deliver everything, prompting humanity to debate whether we should be afraid of robots or just get better snacks for road trips.. Fact: Did you know that more people have become professional YouTubers than truck drivers in the last decade? Because apparently, watching someone play video games is less stressful than driving 1,000 miles alone!.