DECEMBER 18, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: OSHA's Vaccine Mandate Reinstated by Court. Impact: The reinstatement of the vaccine mandate led to a massive increase in flu shot skepticism, inadvertently resulting in a nationwide shortage of chicken soup as everyone suddenly became 'immune' to common sense and grandma's recipes.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more contagious than a virus is misinformation? It spreads faster than you can say 'mandatory vaccine'..
• Headline: U.S. Testing Struggles Amid Omicron Surge. Impact: The pressure on testing led scientists to invent a new type of rapid test that can also predict your next snack craving, thus bringing us closer to a world where we manage our health and our chips simultaneously.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more intense than the pressure on U.S. testing capacity was my last family reunion — and that's saying something!.
• Headline: Understanding Early Decision: Your Rights. Impact: The clarification of binding decisions in college admissions led to a surge in students applying to colleges they can't afford, resulting in an unexpected boom in the 'How to Live in Your Parents' Basement' workshops.. Fact: Did you know that 'Early Decision' is just a fancy term for 'We’ll take your money before you realize you can’t afford rent?'.
• Headline: As Covid Surges, Experts Say U.S. Booster Effort Is Far Behind. Impact: The slow booster uptake initiated a nationwide campaign where people began trading secret family recipes for the coveted booster shot, forever changing the landscape of communal cooking.. Fact: Did you know that one in six Americans have received a booster shot? The other five are still waiting for their neighbor to finish their Netflix series before they get off the couch..
• Headline: Map by Map, G.O.P. Chips Away at Black Democrats’ Power. Impact: The GOP’s erosion of Black Democrats' power led to a new political game called 'Gerrymanderopoly,' where the winner gets to redraw the maps and create new districts that don’t actually exist.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more creative than gerrymandering is my dog's ability to find the one sock you thought was lost forever!.