DECEMBER 6, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Unveiling TikTok's Mind-Reading Algorithm. Impact: In a shocking turn of events, TikTok's mind-reading algorithm leads to the invention of a new psychic app that becomes a trend among teenagers, resulting in the world’s first psychic reality show. Spoiler alert: all the predictions involve avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that TikTok can predict your next meal? Just kidding, but it sure seems like it with all those food videos!.
• Headline: China's Call for Little Inoculated Warriors. Impact: The campaign to recruit 'Little Inoculated Warriors' inadvertently creates a generation of overly cautious children who refuse to touch anything that isn't sanitized. This leads to a world where handshakes are outlawed and high-fives are a thing of the past.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Little Inoculated Warriors' was almost the name of a failed children’s superhero franchise, but they couldn't find a suitable cape that fit a toddler..
• Headline: Elon Musk's Vision for Self-Driving Cars. Impact: Elon Musk’s relentless push for self-driving cars leads to a future where cars have developed their own personalities and start forming unions. They demand better treatment, leading to the first-ever automotive rights movement.. Fact: Did you know that Tesla's Autopilot was almost called 'Trust Me, I’m a Car'? Thankfully, they decided to go with something slightly less ominous..
• Headline: BuzzFeed’s stock falls in its public debut, offering a warning to other digital media firms.. Impact: BuzzFeed's stock plummet sends shockwaves through the digital media landscape, leading to an epic meme war where companies compete to create the most ridiculous cat videos, ultimately resulting in a cat president in 2030.. Fact: Did you know BuzzFeed was originally a site for testing dog food? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that have been a more thrilling debut?.
• Headline: This Chemical Is in Short Supply, and the Whole World Feels It. Impact: The shortage of this chemical sparks a global scavenger hunt, where nations compete to hoard supplies. This leads to the first international chemical black market, where farmers trade in their prized tomatoes for a mere vial of the elusive substance.. Fact: Fun fact: the last time farmers faced a shortage of a crucial chemical, it led to the invention of the world’s most complicated tomato sauce recipe. Bon appétit!.