DECEMBER 3, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Biden's Plan Against Omicron Variant. Impact: If only Biden had vowed to fight Omicron with interpretive dance instead of science. Who knows, maybe we'd all be immune to bad news by now.. Fact: Science and speed? Sounds like a superhero duo that forgot to save the day..
• Headline: Northeast Brazil's Desertification Crisis. Impact: As Brazil's northeast turns to desert, perhaps the next great civilization will rise from the sands, worshipping the gods of sunscreen and hydration.. Fact: The only thing barren land seems to attract faster than drought is politicians promising change..
• Headline: November Jobs Report Reveals Mixed Signals. Impact: This weak jobs report could lead to a future where everyone is self-employed as 'professional meme creators.' Who needs stability when you have TikTok?. Fact: 210,000 jobs added is like a diet soda—seems refreshing but ultimately leaves you feeling empty..
• Headline: What Happened to Amazon’s Bookstore?. Impact: The disappearance of Amazon's bookstore may have paved the way for a new breed of bibliophiles who now worship at the altar of overpriced vintage editions.. Fact: A 17th-century publication date? Looks like someone’s trying to sell a time machine instead of a book..
• Headline: Is the Chance to Turn Hotels Into Affordable Housing Slipping Away?. Impact: If hotels become affordable housing, future generations might reminisce about the 'great hotel exodus' while sipping on overpriced lattes in their newly converted rooms.. Fact: Turning hotels into affordable housing? What a novel idea! Too bad it came a decade too late—like a popular TV show that gets canceled before it can find its audience..