NOVEMBER 1, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Change in N.B.A. Coaching Diversity. Impact: This moment ignited a revolution in sports management, leading to a secret society of basketball coaches who communicate exclusively through slam dunks and three-pointers. The ripple effect? A future where coaching is decided by a game of HORSE.. Fact: Before this, the only time Black coaches were visible was when they were playing. Who knew they could actually coach too?.
• Headline: Banks Shift to Embrace Cryptocurrency. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction where banks started using blockchain technology to hide their suspicious transactions, leading to a future where money laundering is done with a cute little digital bow on top.. Fact: Once upon a time, banks actually thought they could stop the unstoppable. Spoiler alert: they can’t..
• Headline: BIPOC or POC? Equity or Equality? The Debate Over Language on the Left.. Impact: This debate spawned a new dialect that only scholars can understand, leading to a future where the key to political power is a thesaurus. And yes, it’s just as confusing as it sounds.. Fact: If you thought debating semantics was tiring, wait until you see the 12-hour symposium on the use of 'versus' vs. 'and.'.
• Headline: James Staley, Barclays’s C.E.O., steps down after a Jeffrey Epstein inquiry.. Impact: This resignation sent shockwaves through the financial world, resulting in a future where every bank executive is required to pass a 'not associated with shady billionaires' test before being allowed to take office.. Fact: In finance, stepping down is just code for 'I’ll be back with a new identity and a tan in the Bahamas.'.