OCTOBER 1, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Infrastructure Bill Vote Delayed Amid Feuds. Impact: The delay in the infrastructure bill led to a series of negotiations that eventually resulted in a nationwide obsession with pothole memes. Who knew a pothole could become a celebrity?. Fact: Did you know that in the time it took Congress to discuss this bill, over 1,000 memes about infrastructure were created? Truly, the true measure of progress..
• Headline: Dollar Stores Face New Pandemic Challenges. Impact: As dollar stores struggled, they inadvertently sparked the rise of artisanal, overpriced snack boutiques. Because who doesn’t want to pay $10 for a single potato chip?. Fact: Did you know that there are now more gourmet potato chip flavors than there are actual types of potatoes? Welcome to capitalism!.
• Headline: New York's Skyscraper Safety Challenges. Impact: The city’s reliance on an outdated playbook for skyscraper safety led to a new underground movement where architects started using Lego blocks for safety models. Safety first, right?. Fact: Did you know that in a future timeline, architects are judged based on their ability to build with LEGOs? Good luck with that..
• Headline: Who Wouldn’t Want a $500 Million Theme Park in Their Town?. Impact: The debate over the theme park created a rift so deep in the community that it inspired a new reality show: 'Survivor: Theme Park Edition.' Who will outlast the debates?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more divisive than a theme park in a small town is pineapple on pizza? What a world we live in!.
• Headline: The World Wants Greenland’s Minerals, but Greenlanders Are Wary. Impact: Greenland’s mineral wealth prompted a global treasure hunt that led to a spike in pirate-themed merchandise sales. Arrr matey, who needs ethical mining when you can have costumes?. Fact: Did you know that ‘Greenland’ is actually a misnomer? It should have been called ‘Ice Land,’ but that didn’t sound as appealing to would-be colonizers looking for a vacation spot..