SEPTEMBER 20, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Efforts to Evacuate Afghan Journalists. Impact: By helping Afghan journalists escape, the U.S. inadvertently inspired future generations to start their own podcast series called 'Bureaucratic Nightmares'. This led to a global movement of people sharing their tales of red tape, ultimately resulting in the invention of a new form of therapy: bureaucratic yoga, where you stretch while waiting on hold.. Fact: Did you know that 'massive effort' is code for 'we have a lot of paperwork to fill out before we can actually help anyone'?.
• Headline: Emmy Awards Celebrate Television's Resilience. Impact: The Emmy Awards telecast's private party atmosphere inspired a new trend in award shows: virtual attendance only. Soon, awards were presented via holograms, and viewers found themselves more engaged with their snack choices than the actual winners. Who knew that popcorn could outshine a best actor?. Fact: Did you know that the last time TV celebrated its own survival, it involved a very different kind of survival: a reality show about a group of actors trying to stay relevant in a streaming world?.
• Headline: The Mannings Give TV Sports Yet Another Alternate Viewing Option. Impact: The Mannings' new TV gig led to a nationwide obsession with alternate viewing experiences, resulting in a future where even chess matches are narrated by sports legends. This caused a generation of kids to believe that every game required a commentary team, even their board games, leading to a board game award show where Monopoly got 'Best Dramatic Performance'.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than the Manning brothers' TV schedule is trying to explain to your grandmother how to stream a game on multiple platforms? It’s like trying to teach a cat to use a remote..
• Headline: How Car Rentals Explain the 2021 Economy. Impact: The analysis of car rental prices triggered a chain reaction throughout the economy, with economists eventually concluding that the rental car industry was actually a front for the Illuminati’s plan to control global travel. This led to a surge in conspiracy theories about how the price of gas is influenced by the moon phases.. Fact: Did you know that the car rental industry's ups and downs mirror your last Tinder date? Both can be full of surprises, and somehow, you always end up paying more than you expected..