SEPTEMBER 9, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Defining American Fashion Today. Impact: As American fashion takes a turn for the bizarre, this moment sparks a chain reaction leading to future generations wearing Crocs with socks and calling it haute couture. Who knew a Met Gala outfit could inspire a global epidemic of questionable style choices?. Fact: Did you know that ‘American Fashion’ has been defined by everything from denim to designer? So basically, if it’s on someone in a New York subway, it’s fashion..
• Headline: Worker Shortage Strains Infrastructure Plans. Impact: The shortage of skilled workers sends shockwaves through Biden’s infrastructure plans, resulting in a nationwide obsession with DIY home improvement. You’ll find millions of Americans attempting to fix potholes with Pinterest tutorials instead of actual experts.. Fact: Did you know that teaching people to fix roads is easier than teaching Congress to agree on anything? Spoiler alert: it’s not..
• Headline: ‘Reversing Gears’: China Increasingly Rejects English, and the World. Impact: China’s rejection of English sends ripples through global diplomacy, prompting nations to resort to interpretative dance to communicate. The next United Nations meeting is bound to be a spectacle!. Fact: Did you know that rejecting Western influence has been a trend since the dawn of time? Just look at every teenager who ever rolled their eyes at their parents..
• Headline: Inside Missouri’s ‘2nd Amendment Sanctuary’ Fight. Impact: Missouri’s ‘2nd Amendment Sanctuary’ movement inspires a nationwide trend of states declaring independence from federal laws, eventually leading to the Great States’ BBQ Cook-off Wars of 2042. Who knew gun rights could lead to grilling rivalries?. Fact: Did you know that Missouri’s law could have been a peaceful picnic instead? But no, let’s challenge federal authority with firearms instead of sandwiches..