AUGUST 3, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring the $1 Trillion Infrastructure Bill. Impact: When Congress passed the $1 trillion infrastructure bill, it sent a shockwave through time that led to the invention of self-repairing potholes in 2080. Unfortunately, they only work in the presence of unicorns, which remains a sticking point.. Fact: Did you know that if you printed out the $1 trillion infrastructure bill, it would weigh approximately as much as a small car? And just like a car, it might still leave you stranded on the side of the road due to bureaucratic delays..
• Headline: Biden and Fed Face Economic Uncertainties. Impact: Biden's economic challenges prompted a time traveler to invent a device that lets people see the future job market. Unfortunately, everyone just keeps seeing the same 'Help Wanted' sign in the same diner since 2021.. Fact: Did you know that economists often predict the future like a weatherman? They throw out percentages and forecasts, but when it rains, they’re just as surprised as the rest of us..
• Headline: From Towering Redwoods to Tiny Creatures, This Novel Has It All. Impact: Ash Davidson's novel inspired a new literary genre where trees become the protagonists, leading to a future where forest debates are held in Congress. Spoiler: They always favor more trees.. Fact: Did you know that redwoods can live for over 2,000 years? So, if they could read, they'd probably have some serious opinions on our current political climate..
• Headline: What if Highways Were Electric? Germany Is Testing the Idea.. Impact: Germany's electric highway project inadvertently inspired a new genre of sci-fi where trucks become sentient and start a rebellion against emissions. The resulting film franchise grossed billions, but the plot was as confusing as the infrastructure bill.. Fact: Did you know that the idea of electric highways has been around since the 1800s? So, it only took about 200 years to realize that making roads more electrifying could actually be useful. Who knew?.