JULY 31, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring First-Name Finance Apps. Impact: This headline sparked a revolution in banking where all financial apps are required to have friendly names. By 2040, the leading bank is called 'Chummy Cash', and all transactions are sealed with a handshake emoji.. Fact: Surprisingly, no one named Dave has ever actually created a successful app. They just like to give unsolicited advice about money..
• Headline: Soaring Home Prices and Federal Reserve Impact. Impact: The Fed's indecision led to a bizarre future where people started trading homes like Pokémon cards. In 2035, a three-bedroom in San Francisco is worth 50 Charizard cards and two rare holographic Zumos.. Fact: Home prices have always soared, but they now do so with dramatic music playing in the background, thanks to an overzealous sound designer in a reality show about real estate..
• Headline: Eviction Freeze Nears Its End Amid Concerns. Impact: The lapse in eviction moratoriums caused a nationwide scavenger hunt for affordable housing. By 2025, people were living in luxury treehouses and converted school buses, all while competing for the title of 'Most Creative Living Space'.. Fact: Historically, eviction freezes have done little to stabilize housing. But they do make great conversation starters at parties—just ask anyone who's ever been evicted!.
• Headline: Biden Promised to Restore the Iran Nuclear Deal. Now It Risks Derailment.. Impact: The failed negotiations resulted in a series of international dance-offs to settle disputes. By 2030, world leaders hold annual 'Dance for Peace' contests that redefine diplomacy as a series of cringe-worthy TikTok challenges.. Fact: Iranian dance culture is rich and vibrant, and if only world leaders could learn the moves, we might have a lot less tension and a lot more viral videos..
• Headline: Who Are the Unvaccinated in America? There’s No One Answer.. Impact: This question led to the creation of the 'Unvaccinated Support Group' which ironically only met on Zoom. By 2024, they were the largest group of people still saying 'Can you hear me?' on a call.. Fact: The unvaccinated demographic has been so diverse that it’s now considered an extreme sport to try to understand their reasoning—much like trying to explain the plot of 'Inception'..