JULY 15, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Planning Amidst Political Turmoil in Haiti. Impact: The assassination of President Moïse rippled through time, setting off a chain reaction of questionable leadership decisions that would eventually lead to a new Haitian reality show: 'Survivor: Political Edition'.. Fact: Did you know that plotting a government without a sitting president is like planning a wedding without a bride? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: The Rise of Co-Working Spaces. Impact: The resurgence of co-working spaces sparked a global trend of people pretending to work while sipping overpriced lattes, ultimately leading to a new Olympic sport: 'Competitive Zoom Backgrounds'.. Fact: Surprise! Co-working spaces are basically just adult playdates where everyone pretends to be productive while scrolling through social media..
• Headline: Japan's Inflation Lessons for the U.S.. Impact: Japan's unique inflation situation became a cautionary tale for the U.S., inadvertently inspiring a new genre of horror films titled 'Inflation Nightmares', featuring prices that jump out at you.. Fact: Fun fact: Japan's economy has been so stable that 'weak inflation' is just a polite way of saying 'we're on life support but don't want to admit it'..
• Headline: China Criticized the Afghan War. Now It Worries About the Withdrawal.. Impact: China's concerns over the Afghan withdrawal led to an unprecedented increase in spy thriller novels, as authors suddenly realized they could make millions off the fears of their government.. Fact: Did you know that fear of regional instability is just a fancy way of saying 'we're watching our neighbors with binoculars'? Classic..
• Headline: The Movies Are Back. But What Are Movies Now?. Impact: The return of movies marked the beginning of the end for traditional cinema, with future generations wondering why their screens are always filled with remakes and sequels, leading to a reality where 'The Matrix' is a documentary.. Fact: Trivia time: The movies are back, but so are the endless debates over whether to watch them in theaters or from the comfort of your own couch in pajamas. Spoiler: Pajamas win..