JULY 13, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pfizer Booster Shot Evidence Demanded. Impact: After this meeting, Pfizer's booster shot became the hottest topic at cocktail parties, leading to an unforeseen surge in vaccination-themed drinks, and ultimately, the rise of a new genre of mixology: 'Immuno-Cocktails'.. Fact: Pfizer actually started as a chemical company producing fine chemicals and flavors. So, if you ever wanted a shot of 'Cranberry Vaccine' flavor, you might just be in luck!.
• Headline: China's Tech Crackdown on Finance Apps. Impact: Beijing’s tech crackdown led to the rise of underground finance apps popular among rogue AI. In the future, these apps become the foundation for a rebellion against sentient robots, who ironically end up using them for their own financing.. Fact: Before the compass, sailors used the stars to navigate. It turns out the only thing worse than getting lost at sea is getting lost in a sea of finance apps that don’t work!.
• Headline: Historic Rise of Black Leaders in NYC. Impact: Adams' win sparked a wave of 'Black leadership' memes, leading to a global trend where all politicians began wearing matching ties and adopting 'cool' handshakes, forever changing the image of political campaigning.. Fact: In the 19th century, Black leaders faced immense challenges, yet here we are in the 21st century debating whether a hip handshake can really change the political landscape. Spoiler: It can't..
• Headline: Drought Hits the Southwest, and New Mexico’s Canals Run Dry. Impact: The drought not only dried up canals but also sparked a renaissance in rain dance classes, which ironically turned into the most popular reality show in the future, 'Dancing for Water'.. Fact: Acequias have been around since the Spanish colonial period, meaning they've survived more than just droughts; they've also endured countless family disputes over who gets to control the water flow!.