JUNE 20, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: David Ellison's Rise in Hollywood. Impact: If David Ellison hadn't entered Hollywood, we might still be stuck with low-budget knockoffs of 'Sharknado' instead of the actual blockbuster that inspired them. His success taught a generation of tech heirs that they could indeed throw money at a problem until it became art.. Fact: David's entry into the film industry is a reminder that sometimes, all it takes to revolutionize a sector is a rich kid with a dream and a really big checkbook..
• Headline: The Great Resignation Explained. Impact: The mass exodus of workers led to a wave of 'creative' job titles popping up, including 'Chief Happiness Officer' and 'Professional Napper.' Future generations will look back at this period and wonder how we ever thought 'work-life balance' was just a catchy phrase.. Fact: In a shocking twist, more people have left their jobs than have left their couches during the pandemic. Who knew the couch was a more loyal employer?.
• Headline: Undocumented Immigrants Seek Alternative Covid Treatments. Impact: This desperate situation inadvertently led to an underground market for 'miracle cures,' which somehow became more popular than actual science. Future health trends might just be shaped by what was available from the back of a truck.. Fact: The black market for unproven drugs is the only place where people still might believe in 'magic' as a legitimate treatment option. Spoiler: It’s not..
• Headline: ‘Here We Are, Again’: The Giants Stick to a Formula That Works. Impact: The Giants' reliance on their winning formula could have sparked a new trend where sports teams start employing nostalgia as their primary strategy—because who doesn’t want to relive the past while ignoring the present?. Fact: In sports, sticking to a formula that works is like choosing to wear the same pair of socks every day—eventually, you’ll have to wash them, or they’ll just stink. Still, they keep winning!.
• Headline: New York Faces Lasting Economic Toll Even as Pandemic Passes. Impact: The economic repercussions of the pandemic transformed New York into a cautionary tale for future city planners. 'Don't put all your eggs in one basket' will soon be a motto in urban development circles.. Fact: New York's economy is now so fragile that if you sneeze too hard, it might just send the entire stock market into a tailspin. Bless you!.