JUNE 2, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tencent's Shift in Strategy with Beijing. Impact: When Tencent decided to play nice, they accidentally discovered that being less hated led to an increase in cat videos, thereby boosting global morale and creating a cat-obsessed generation. Thanks, Tencent!. Fact: Did you know that Tencent started as a simple messaging app? Now it's basically the overlord of the internet, proving that all you need is a good chat and a lot of power!.
• Headline: Shift in Mask Policy Sparks Worker Concerns. Impact: The CDC's mask policy change sent ripples through time, leading to a future where people began wearing bubble wrap instead of masks, creating a new fashion trend called 'safety chic.'. Fact: Fun fact: The first masks were actually invented to keep surgeons from breathing germs into open wounds. Now they’re just a fashion accessory and a reminder of our collective anxiety!.
• Headline: Political Tensions Rise Over Migrant Influx. Impact: The migrant fight sparked by a wave of the hand could be traced back to a future where hand gestures became the universal language, leading to the rise of hand-signing diplomats and the downfall of verbal communication. Thanks, Spain and Morocco!. Fact: Did you know that waving your hand could lead to international incidents? Maybe next time, they should just stick to emojis..
• Headline: Here Are America’s Top Methane Emitters. Some Will Surprise You.. Impact: The revelation about America’s top methane emitters inadvertently led to a future where methane was deemed the 'new gold' and people began mining it for wealth, ultimately resulting in the Great Methane Rush of 2040.. Fact: Did you know that methane is actually more effective at trapping heat than carbon dioxide? So, it’s basically the VIP of greenhouse gases. Who needs a climate change summit when you have methane parties?.
• Headline: Portugal Is Riding a Boom in Bicycles. Impact: Portugal's bicycle boom resulted in an unexpected future where cycling became the primary mode of transportation, leading to a world where cars were replaced by bike lanes, and traffic jams were just groups of people arguing over who gets to ride in the front.. Fact: Did you know that the first bicycle was invented in the early 19th century? It took over a century for people to realize it was a great way to avoid traffic and exercise at the same time!.