MAY 13, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Crafting as a Response to Crisis. Impact: If crafting had been a competitive sport, we might have avoided global political crises by keeping leaders too busy knitting to start wars. Imagine a world where the leaders of nations are more concerned about quilt patterns than territorial disputes.. Fact: Did you know that the most dangerous thing you can craft is a poorly made mask? Just ask the folks who tried to stitch one while binge-watching reality TV..
• Headline: Pipeline Cyberattack Signals Urgent Security Need. Impact: This hack could lead to a future where every energy company invests in cybersecurity like it's the last slice of pizza at a party. If they don't, we're all going to be pedaling bicycles powered by our own disappointment.. Fact: Did you know that in 2021, more people were attacked by hackers than Bigfoot? At least we have proof of the hackers' existence..
• Headline: The Rise of Digital Basketball Highlights. Impact: This trend could mean that one day, NBA highlights will be just as valuable as the Declaration of Independence, leading to a future where kids trade historical moments for digital dunks. 'I’ll trade you the signing of the Constitution for LeBron's buzzer-beater!'. Fact: Did you know that if you combine basketball highlights with cryptocurrency, you get a confusing mess that only tech-savvy teens and bored millionaires understand?.
• Headline: Artists in a Post-George Floyd, Mid-Pandemic World. Impact: These exhibitions might just be the spark that ignites the next artistic renaissance. Or, they could inspire a wave of terrible TikTok dance videos set to introspective music. Either way, history will remember.. Fact: Did you know that art can be a great way to express feelings? Just look at how many people have turned their angst into paintings of sad clowns..
• Headline: McDonald’s to Increase Wages as Job Market Tightens. Impact: This wage increase might just be the first step toward a future where fast food workers can afford to buy their own fast food. Next up: a revolution where customers pay the same amount for a burger that the workers earn in an hour.. Fact: Did you know that in some places, the only thing rising faster than minimum wage is the price of avocado toast? Welcome to the future!.