APRIL 26, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Facebook's Control Over News Visibility. Impact: Had Facebook not decided to play gatekeeper, the New York Post could have become the world's leading source for clickbait headlines about overpriced houses. This would have led to a global obsession with real estate gossip, resulting in a massive spike in house prices and ultimately causing a housing bubble fueled by influencers pretending to be interior designers.. Fact: Did you know that Facebook once blocked an article about how to properly boil water? Just kidding, but you get the point—it's all about their algorithm, not actual newsworthiness..
• Headline: Historic Wins at the Oscars 2021. Impact: Had Anthony Hopkins not snagged that Best Actor win, the trajectory of the Academy Awards could have veered into a realm where underdogs like that one friend who insists on making their own films might have actually had a shot at glory. Imagine an alternate universe where everyone is a filmmaker!. Fact: Did you know that if Chadwick Boseman had won, we might have had a 'Best Actor' trophy auctioned off for charity? But alas, it seems Anthony Hopkins is just too good at being old and wise..
• Headline: The Covid-19 Oscars: A Unique Experience. Impact: The muted Oscars could have sparked a new trend where all award shows become more like mime performances, with winners communicating their speeches through interpretive dance. The world would have been introduced to the 'Silent Academy Awards,' leading to a surge in dance classes for future stars.. Fact: Did you know people actually watch the Oscars for the glamour, not the awards? Shocking, I know! Who would have thought we prefer sequins over sincerity?.
• Headline: A Minneapolis High School Football Team and Its Coach Move On. Impact: The Minneapolis North team's journey could inspire a new sports movie genre focused on athletes overcoming the trauma of societal issues. This would lead to a renaissance of sports dramas, but unfortunately, none would be as good as 'Remember the Titans.'. Fact: Did you know that the Derek Chauvin verdict was the first time a police officer was held accountable for their actions in a way that didn't involve a paid vacation? Progress is relative, I guess..
• Headline: Urban Meyer’s Renewal in Jacksonville. Impact: Urban Meyer’s arrival could trigger a butterfly effect where every college coach suddenly decides to abandon their programs for the NFL, leading to a complete collapse of college football as we know it. Welcome to the era of NFL teams made up of 18-year-olds!. Fact: Did you know that Urban Meyer once coached a team to a national championship? Let's hope he remembers how to do that and doesn’t just focus on collecting paychecks in the NFL..