APRIL 15, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Biden Announces End to Afghanistan War. Impact: This statement set off a chain reaction that would lead to a surge in TikTok videos of people trying to explain geopolitics in 30 seconds or less, thus changing the definition of 'war stories' forever.. Fact: Did you know that 'Forever War' is not just a political term but also the title of a surprisingly unsuccessful series of soap operas about never-ending family feuds?.
• Headline: Global Semiconductor Shortage Overview. Impact: The chip shortage led to the invention of 'Chip Yoga,' where tech executives pretended to find inner peace while sitting on piles of unsold products, thereby boosting the mental health industry.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing shorter than the supply of semiconductors was the attention span of people trying to understand what a semiconductor actually is..
• Headline: Debate on Wealthy Residents in NYC. Impact: This anti-superrich sentiment sparked a fashion trend where people wore shirts that read 'I’d rather have a local coffee than a billionaire's tax break,' inadvertently creating a new economy of hipster baristas.. Fact: You know it's bad when New Yorkers start to think that a $10 avocado toast is a sign of wealth inequality—welcome to brunch in 2023, folks!.
• Headline: Voters Like Biden Infrastructure Plan; G.O.P. Still Sees an Opening on Taxes. Impact: This political tug-of-war resulted in a new reality show called 'Taxation Nation,' where politicians compete to see who can repackage tax increases as 'infrastructure investments' the best.. Fact: Here’s a shocker: Congress has been arguing about infrastructure longer than the average lifespan of an American bridge—talk about a stable relationship!.