MARCH 24, 2021

Full News Archive

• Headline: Boulder Supermarket Shooting Reflections. Impact: The Boulder shooting incident led to a ripple effect in legislative discussions about gun control laws. Fast forward a few decades, and we might find ourselves in a parallel universe where grocery shopping involves metal detectors and mandatory therapy sessions.. Fact: Did you know that grocery stores were once thought to be safe havens? Apparently, they forgot to include 'no mass shootings' in their store policies..
• Headline: Tragic Shooting in Boulder Grocery Store. Impact: The tragic loss of life in Boulder sparked a nationwide conversation about mental health and gun violence. Ironically, decades later, it might inspire a popular reality show: 'Survive the Checkout Line.'. Fact: It's worth noting that the phrase 'beyond comprehension' is often used in the wake of tragedies. Maybe we should start using it to describe the state of our grocery bills instead..
• Headline: Insights from Sky Bet's User Tracking. Impact: The gambling app's invasive tracking technology could lead to a future where personalized ads know you better than your spouse. Imagine a world where your fridge suggests beer based on last night's betting losses.. Fact: Fun fact: The average person thinks they can keep their gambling habits a secret. Spoiler alert: the app knows your habits better than you do!.
• Headline: What Does It Mean to Be a Living Thing?. Impact: The discourse around defining life could lead to future debates on whether AI and plants qualify as 'living things.' In a few centuries, we might be arguing with our houseplants about their rights.. Fact: Did you know that scientists still can't agree on how to define life? Maybe they should just ask my cat; she's convinced she's the center of the universe..
• Headline: Coinbase Users Say Crypto Start-Up Ignored Their Pleas for Help. Impact: Coinbase's customer service blunders could ironically pave the way for a tech revolution where humans are replaced by chatbots that are just as confused but at least less likely to leave you on hold.. Fact: Did you know that contacting customer service often feels like a game of roulette? You either hit the jackpot and get help, or you lose everything and end up more confused than before..