DECEMBER 30, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: McConnell's Stance on $2,000 Checks. Impact: McConnell blocking the $2,000 checks created a ripple effect where millions of Americans suddenly learned to bake bread and craft sourdough starters. Because hey, if you can’t afford groceries, might as well become a culinary artisan, right?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'begin the process' is actually code for 'let's kick this can down the road until it's a fully grown adult'?.
• Headline: UK Approves Oxford-AstraZeneca Vaccine. Impact: The U.K. authorizing the Covid-19 vaccine from Oxford and AstraZeneca sparked a global race for vaccines, turning scientists into rock stars and creating a new genre of music: 'Pharmaceutical Pop.' Now everyone wants to be 'vaccinated' instead of 'vaccinated'—it's all the rage!. Fact: Did you know that the Oxford vaccine was developed faster than most people can understand the concept of herd immunity? Talk about a race against time!.
• Headline: Argentina Legalizes Abortion, a Milestone in a Conservative Region. Impact: Argentina's legalization of abortion became a beacon for feminist movements across Latin America, leading to a domino effect of progressive legislation and more intense debates. Who would've thought that one Senate vote could turn the region into a feminist battleground?. Fact: Did you know that this decision had more immediate historical impact than most political speeches? It's almost like actions speak louder than words or something!.
• Headline: He Was Hospitalized for Covid-19. Then Hospitalized Again. And Again.. Impact: The cycle of Covid-19 patients being hospitalized repeatedly highlighted the long-term effects of the virus, leading to an unintended side effect: a new trend in healthcare where doctors now have to schedule return visits like they're booking a table at a fancy restaurant. 'Sorry, my health is on a waitlist!'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'long COVID' could also describe how long it takes to get an appointment with your primary care doctor? Just saying..