DECEMBER 24, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Relief Demands Split Republican Party. Impact: Trump’s demand for changes to the relief plan sent shockwaves through the economy, ultimately leading to a nationwide obsession with DIY projects and sourdough baking as people scrambled to fill the void left by the lack of financial support. Little did they know, this would spark a future trend of hipster bakeries and a national shortage of yeast.. Fact: Did you know that in the future, people will still be debating the finer points of pandemic relief while simultaneously Googling how to make the perfect sourdough starter?.
• Headline: Trump Grants Clemency to Key Allies. Impact: The series of pardons created a bizarre reality where loyalty overrule justice, leading to a time where political allies became more common than actual policies. This, in turn, resulted in a future where people started to treat political loyalty like a sports team—complete with jerseys and chants.. Fact: Fun fact: In the future, pardons will be sold at auction alongside celebrity memorabilia. Get your 'Pardon of the Year' plaque while you can!.
• Headline: China's New Stance on Tech Giants. Impact: The clampdown on tech giants by China set off a global chain reaction that had tech entrepreneurs dodging regulatory bullets like a high-stakes game of dodgeball. This eventually led to a reality where every app required a disclaimer stating it wasn't secretly spying on you... until it did.. Fact: Did you know that in the future, people will have tech support for their tech support? It's a wild world out there!.
• Headline: Andrew Sullivan on the War Within Conservatism and Why It Matters to All of Us. Impact: The war within conservatism sparked debates that transcended politics, leading to an era where everyone had an opinion on everything, from climate change to the correct way to brew tea. This endless chatter ultimately created a world where the phrase 'let's agree to disagree' was banned.. Fact: In the future, people will find it more entertaining to watch paint dry than to engage in political discussions. Who knew boredom could be so revolutionary?.
• Headline: The ‘Trump Bump’ for Books Has Been Significant. Can It Continue?. Impact: The 'Trump Bump' for books led to a publishing frenzy that turned every disgruntled staffer into a bestselling author. This phenomenon sparked a new genre of literature: 'Tell-Alls from the Fringe' became a bestseller section, right next to 'Self-Help for the Politically Disillusioned.'. Fact: Interestingly, in the future, books will be deemed 'eco-friendly' if they contain at least 50% recycled political scandals. Who knew the literary world would go green?.