DECEMBER 22, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Congress Approves $900 Billion Relief Package. Impact: The passing of this relief bill sparked a chain reaction where Americans suddenly became experts in budgeting with $600, leading to the invention of the world's most complicated game: 'How to Stretch Your Stimulus Check.' Who knew the economy could inspire such creativity?. Fact: Fun fact: If you stacked all the $600 payments end-to-end, you could reach the moon! Just kidding, you’d need a few more trillion to make that happen..
• Headline: Youth Unemployment Trends Post-Pandemic. Impact: The surge in unemployment among young workers led to a bizarre trend: the rise of the 'Professional Couch Potato,' a new career path that involved extreme Netflix binging and the art of perfecting the snack-to-movie ratio.. Fact: Did you know that 'unemployed' is just a fancy term for 'freelance couch explorer'? It's a real thing, I promise!.
• Headline: Best of Late Night in 2020: The Show Must Go Home. Impact: Late-night hosts working from home marked the beginning of a new era in comedy: 'Quarantine Quips.' This unforeseen genre forever changed the landscape of humor, proving that laughter really is the best medicine, even if it's delivered from a living room.. Fact: Fun fact: The average American spent more time watching late-night shows during the pandemic than they did on actual self-care. Who needs therapy when you've got monologues?.
• Headline: There’s a Way Biden Can Raise More From the Rich Without Higher Taxes. Impact: The push to enforce existing tax codes without raising taxes opened a Pandora's box of economic theories, leading to bizarre new strategies like 'Taxation Through Inspiration,' where the rich are just encouraged to donate because, you know, they totally will!. Fact: Did you know that the idea of getting rich people to pay their fair share without raising taxes is about as likely as finding a unicorn on Wall Street? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t exist..