NOVEMBER 29, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bergamo's Virus Crisis Unveiled. Impact: The tragic events in Bergamo set off a chain reaction of panic buying worldwide, leading to the great toilet paper shortage of 2020, which is now a case study in how to prepare for absolutely nothing.. Fact: Bergamo's tragedy highlighted the failures of bureaucracy, which is ironically how most people feel about waiting at the DMV..
• Headline: Amanda Seyfried's Bold Career Move. Impact: Amanda Seyfried's role in 'Mank' may have indirectly caused a resurgence in interest in classic cinema, leading to a weird trend where every movie critic suddenly became a film historian overnight. Spoiler alert: It didn't end well.. Fact: Amanda Seyfried once played a character who thought 'fetch' was going to happen. Turns out, her career did fetch after all..
• Headline: The Beat at the Heart of ‘Lovers Rock’. Impact: The success of 'Lovers Rock' might just have inspired a new generation of musicians to merge every genre imaginable, leading to a bizarre future where polka-rap becomes the next big thing. No, really.. Fact: Steve McQueen won an Oscar for '12 Years a Slave' and somehow still managed to keep his cool while making a film about the evolution of reggae. Talk about versatility!.
• Headline: New York City Will Reopen Elementary Schools and Reduce Hybrid Learning. Impact: New York City's decision to reopen schools will undoubtedly spark a nationwide debate about whether education or dining out is more essential, leading to a future where kids learn math by tallying up their parents' bills at restaurants.. Fact: Bill de Blasio's management style has been compared to that of a juggler—if the juggler was blindfolded and had to stand on a unicycle while balancing flaming torches. Exciting, right?.