NOVEMBER 23, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Disenfranchisement Tactics Resurface in 2020. Impact: In a bizarre twist of fate, the attempt to disenfranchise Black Americans led to the emergence of a new superhero: Captain Voter, who fights corruption with a pen and a voter registration list, inspiring generations to come. Little did they know, their efforts would ignite a passion for democracy that would echo in the halls of future elections.. Fact: Did you know that disenfranchising people is like trying to win Monopoly by hiding the money? It might work temporarily, but eventually, someone’s flipping the board and calling you out..
• Headline: Biden Appoints Blinken as Secretary of State. Impact: Antony Blinken's appointment as Secretary of State set off a chain reaction where global alliances became the hottest dinner party topic. Suddenly, diplomats started using TikTok to share their treaties, leading to more 'likes' than actual votes in Congress.. Fact: Did you know that 'Blinken' sounds like a name a hipster would give to their organic smoothie shop? 'Welcome to Blinken, where we blend alliances and avocados!'.
• Headline: China's Data Surveillance and U.S. Tech. Impact: The U.S. tech industry's role in China's surveillance state sparked a global interest in privacy, leading to the invention of tinfoil hats that became the latest fashion trend among privacy advocates. Who knew conspiracy could be so chic?. Fact: Did you know that every time someone buys a new smartphone, a little piece of privacy dies? Just kidding, it’s more like a whole forest..
• Headline: Bill Gates, the Virus and the Quest to Vaccinate the World. Impact: Bill Gates' quest to vaccinate the world not only helped curb a pandemic but also created an unexpected side effect: a global appreciation for washing hands and wearing masks, leading to a 2040s revival of the 'cleanliness is next to godliness' movement.. Fact: Did you know that Bill Gates is the only billionaire who can make billion-dollar plans sound like a friendly neighborhood lemonade stand? 'Let’s just vaccinate the world, no biggie!'.