NOVEMBER 19, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rising Tensions Over Election Integrity. Impact: If Trump hadn’t rallied his supporters against the election process, perhaps TikTok wouldn’t be the go-to platform for conspiracy theories about voting fraud. Imagine a world where we just scroll through cat videos instead of political chaos.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'fake news' was so overused that it nearly became a new form of journalism? Now, every time someone says it, a journalist cries..
• Headline: Retail Workers Face Pandemic Inequality. Impact: The lack of hazard pay for retail workers could lead to a future where retail becomes a 'dangerous' profession, inspiring a new genre of reality TV shows titled 'Survivor: Grocery Store Edition.'. Fact: Fun fact: Retail workers are now secretly training for the Olympics in dodging customers. It's a sport that hasn't been recognized... yet..
• Headline: Reframing Accountability in Cancel Culture. Impact: If we start calling people in instead of calling them out, we might accidentally create a world where people actually listen to each other. Imagine the horror of having civil conversations!. Fact: Did you know that 'calling in' is just a fancy way of saying, 'Let’s not ruin each other’s lives on social media today'? Revolutionary, I know..
• Headline: Who Will Succeed Mayor de Blasio? New York’s Future May Ride on the Answer. Impact: The choice of New York's next mayor could lead to either a renaissance of urban life or a dystopian future where pigeons have more rights than citizens. Place your bets!. Fact: Did you know that New York City has more pigeons than people? So if the mayor can’t handle the people, at least they can campaign for bird rights!.
• Headline: It’s Official: Every Celeb Now Has a Beauty Line. Impact: The explosion of celebrity beauty lines could lead to a future where even your toaster has a skincare regimen. 'Don't forget to moisturize your appliances, folks!'. Fact: Did you know that the beauty industry is worth over $532 billion? That’s a lot of money for looking good while doing absolutely nothing!.