NOVEMBER 6, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Democratic Strength Amid Diverse Opinions. Impact: If California had lost, the ripple effect might have led to a nationwide trend of people actually reading ballot measures. Can you imagine the chaos of informed voting? What a nightmare!. Fact: In California, it’s easier to get a marriage license than to understand a state ballot measure. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Record Daily COVID-19 Cases Surge. Impact: This one day of record cases could be the day historians point to when humanity collectively decided that washing hands and wearing masks were actually good ideas. Spoiler: it took a pandemic for this revelation.. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked all the hand sanitizer used during the pandemic, you could reach the moon? Not really, but wouldn’t that be a sight?.
• Headline: Disinformation Campaign from the White House. Impact: This headline marks the beginning of a new era where fact-checking becomes a full-time job for journalists, and conspiracy theorists finally have a villain they can blame for their wild theories—right from the comfort of their keyboards.. Fact: In the world of disinformation, the truth is like a unicorn—everyone claims to have seen it, but no one can provide solid evidence!.
• Headline: Biden Pulls Ahead in Key States as Anxious Nation Awaits Winner. Impact: This moment might have sparked the greatest nationwide collective anxiety since the invention of the alarm clock, as citizens realized they couldn’t just scroll past the election results like they do with their social media feeds.. Fact: The only thing more suspenseful than waiting for election results is waiting for your online shopping package to arrive. At least one of those is delivered by a guy named Steve..
• Headline: Robert Gottlieb on Dickensworld — the Great Novelist’s Grand Universe. Impact: This reflection on Dickens could inspire a whole new generation of readers, leading to a dystopian future where everyone speaks in flowery prose and has a penchant for dramatic backstories. The horror!. Fact: Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in six weeks. Imagine how fast he could have churned out a novel if he had access to coffee and Wi-Fi!.